


A Study in Sarcasm

by Opuscule_Owl



Category: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Jealousy, One Shot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26689393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opuscule_Owl/pseuds/Opuscule_Owl
Summary: You and Andre have a good friendship drenched in sarcasm, teasing, and bickering like an old married couple. But when someone else shows interest in your affections, Andre seems to care a bit too much to be platonic.
Relationships: Andre Egwu/Player Character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	A Study in Sarcasm

“You better slow down, Curse-breaker,” Andre Egwu called out to you from across the training grounds. “You better make me!” you shot back, accelerating even more on your broom. This had become somewhat of a tradition in flying class between you two. You doing some sort of dangerous stunt that caused Rowan and Ben to bite their fingernails while Andre just heckled you from afar. You knew that he secretly was amused by all your antics, otherwise you wouldn’t risk Madam Hooch’s wrath to do them. But Andre was often busy with homework or quidditch, and you liked to take his mind off of all the other things he was doing to have fun every once in a while.

Just as you were thinking about how nice it always is to see him laughing and having fun, he flew in front of you, cutting you off. Startled, you jerked your broom up into a quick stop that nearly caused you to fall off. Andre chuckled as he saw you struggling to maintain your balance, and you smiled at him. “I’m glad you find my misfortune so funny,” you said to him, causing him to laugh more. “Maybe you should try listening to me the first time instead of waiting for me to knock you off your broom,” he said, humor glinting in his eyes. You rolled your eyes at him. “Psh! You couldn’t knock me off this broom if you tried!”

Andre’s eyebrows raised. “You wanna bet, curse-breaker?” You both prepared to take off speeding again, but Madam Hooch’s voice stopped you. “Egwu! [Y/L/N]! Class is ending! Come land!” With a sly smile, you both obeyed, touching the ground and dismounting right in front of Rowan and Ben. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Merula sneering at you, but elected to ignore it. “I don’t know how you two are so comfortable flying and doing dangerous stunts,” Ben said, with Rowan nodding slightly along. “Well, Andre is a quidditch player,” you said, “I don’t know about me though.” Andre rolled his eyes. “Dangerous stunts just don’t phase you anymore,” he joked. You, Rowan, and Ben all laughed as you all started walking to the dining hall for lunch. As you entered the castle, a group of Andre’s quidditch friends passed and Andre began to join them, but turned back quickly to ask: “We’re still on for studying later, yeah?” You nodded, and he gave you a wink before wandering off with the quidditch players.

“Did you need to study for something that I forgot about?” Rowan asked, suddenly panicked. You chuckled before answering, “No, this is more of a general hangout/do homework study session. Nothing serious.” Rowan let out a sigh of relief. “You know I wouldn’t study for anything big without you, Rowan,” you said. Rowan’s eyes widened. “I should hope not!” they practically screamed, causing poor Ben to flinch. You just laughed again as you all entered the dining hall.

“If you keep hitting yourself with that book, you’re gonna get a headache,” Andre said, as you continued to smack your forehead with your copy of Advanced Potion Making. “I don’t get it!” you yelled. Andre calmly took the book away from you and placed it on the grass. You both had decided to study outside since it was such a beautiful day, but the nice weather didn’t make you understand potions any better.“Well I don’t think hitting yourself with the book is going to help much,” he said. His voice was gently scolding, and when you looked at him you saw the twinkle in eyes that told you when his scolding was playful.

Andre took a lot of things seriously. Quidditch, classes, homework, fashion, and even your friendship were all things that he saw as important and always strived to be great in. You had seen him stressed beyond belief over what seemed like such little things, but it was because he wanted everything to be perfect. And you seemed to cause him the most stress, with your reckless pursuit of the vaults. In your numerous trips to the hospital wing, you often gained consciousness to see Andre above you, nearly tearing out his hair with worry. Your other friends would be there, of course, but he was always closest (and the quickest to reprimand you when he saw you were okay). But every time his worries were put to rest, every time you survived a bad situation or when you let him take you shopping, you saw that twinkle. It told you that everything was fine. You always loved being able to make him so calm and happy.

“Hello? Curse-breaker?” Andre said, waving his hand in front of your face. You snapped back to reality, blood rushing to your face as you locked eyes with the subject of your thoughts. He smiled. “Do we need to take a break?” he asked, “You look a little flushed.” You shook your head, embarrassed that your face was betraying your inner emotions. Lately, you had found that this tended to happen with Andre, though you couldn’t exactly explain why. “No, I’m fine,” you assured him, turning away to hide the redness, “I’m just frustrated at potions, that’s all.” There was a moment of silence and you were afraid he hadn’t bought the lie, but you heard a peal of familiar laughter and you let out a sigh of relief. You felt that your face had returned to normal and you faced Andre again. He continued to smile until he spotted something just behind you and he frowned. “Oh, Merlin. What does HE want?”

You turned around to see who Andre was referring to. In the distance, you could see the blonde-haired Gryffindor boy from your Charms class crossing the grounds towards you. Billingsley was his name, you were pretty sure. Andre absolutely despised him, which explained his sudden shift in mood. Billingsley had a penchant for performing many dangerous and boneheaded stunts that would land him in detention or the hospital wing. Andre liked to describe him as the poster child for Gryffindor house because of all the instances where he used his magical ability to wreak havoc. However, more annoying than that was the fact that he was obviously talented in magic but refused to try in his classes. This irked Andre to no end. Countless times you were on the receiving end of one of Andre’s rants about how school was for applying yourself, and how the professors supplied your future, and how magic needed to be put to a good cause. Multiple times you had attempted to point out the many times that you yourself had broken school rules and used magic in dangerous ways, but he always responded the same way: “Your stunts are risky, but ultimately for the greater good. Billingsley uses his magic to get a good laugh.” In the end, it was best not to argue with Andre when he got in such a fervor. Andre was a true Ravenclaw, valuing intellectual stimulation and studies, but you had no complaints. It was thanks to him you weren’t failing potions.

Billingsley had reached yours and Andre’s study area and stopped. You offered him a polite “hello”, and Andre said nothing. This did not seem to deter the blonde, as he was looking at you anyway. “What’s up, [Y/N]?” he said, casually. He heard Andre mutter something, but it was too quiet to understand. “Just studying,” you answered. “Yes,” Andre said coldly, “We are. So if you don’t mind–”

“Cool it, Egwu!” Billingsley interjected, “I just want to ask [Y/N] something.”

“Then get on with it!” Andre said with a huff. You glanced back at him briefly and saw him burying his nose in your potions book, cheeks flushed in fury. You turned back to Billingsley, who was smirking. For whatever reason, seeing his amusement made your skin crawl. “So,” you said, forcing your voice to stay even, “What is it you wanted to ask?” Billingsley chuckled. “You taking anyone to the ball, [Y/N]?”

“What?!” you and Andre said in complete unison. “You heard me,” Billingsley said, seemingly unfazed by the reactions he had just elicited, “The balls coming up and I want to know if you’re available. You ARE the curse breaker of Hogwarts, everyone knows you and I–”

“Is that the only reason you want them as your date!” Andre yelled. Startled, you turned to see that he had stood up, the potions book now discarded in the grass beside him. “You wanna use [Y/N] as a bloody status symbol, is that it?!” Billingsley looked taken aback, and held his hands out in front of himself, defensively. “Chill, mate, I was just–”

“No! I will not chill!” Andre said, growing louder by the moment, “[Y/N] is a human being, not a tool for you to gain popularity points!” Suddenly, Andre started to march towards Billingsley. Billingsley began scrambling for his wand, but you were already up and facing Andre. “Easy, Andre. Calm down and let me handle this,” you said, instinctively putting your hands on his chest to physically hold him back. He stopped moving forward, but his eyes still flickered with rage. “Don’t tell me you’re considering going to the ball with this halfwit!” he cried, glaring at Billingsley from over your shoulder. “Watch who you’re calling halfwit!” you heard Billingsley shoot back. Once you were sure that Andre was done trying to advance forward, you slowly turned to face Billingsley. “I’m flattered,” you said as calmly as possible, “But I’m afraid I’m not interested.” His face flushed with embarrassment and he looked at the ground, making you almost feel sorry for him. However, he quickly regained his cocky composure and looked back at you with a smirk on his face once again. “You should probably go,” you said, “Andre takes a while to calm down when he gets upset.”

“No problem, [Y/N]. I’ll see you in Charms,” Billingsley responded. He cast a wary glance at Andre before adding, “See you around, Egwu.” Then he gave you a wink, turned, and began walking back towards the castle. “IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT [Y/N] AGAIN I’LL HEX YOU GOOD AND PROPER!” Andre screamed after him. Billingsley just waved a lazy hand of acknowledgment without turning around. You hesitantly turned around and watched Andre huff exasperatedly before sitting back down on the grass.

“The nerve of that guy!” Andre said, as you sank down next to him, “Asking you all arrogantly like that! As if you would say yes to someone so boneheaded!”

“Andre,” you said quietly, trying to get his attention, but failing. “I mean, you’re THE Hogwarts curse breaker! Imagine the audacity to think that you would go with just anyone!” he continued.

“Andre!” you tried again, but he ignored you yet again. “You wouldn’t even look good next to such a scruffy little worm! You need to go with someone with taste! Someone with refinement! Someone with an air of pride for crying out loud!”

“ANDRE!”

This time worked, as he fell silent. You let out a small sigh before smiling at him and saying, “It sounds like YOU want to go to the ball with me.” You watched in amusement as all of Andre’s rage melted away and was replaced with a flustered embarrassment. “I… um… I mean… well… I guess I…” he stammered, a flush reappearing on his cheeks. You started giggling and he stopped talking, looking mortified. But, he regained his composure fairly quickly and the flush faded as his eyes hardened with determination. “No, this is not how this should go,” he said. He firmly took your hand in both of his and bowed his head in a dramatic fashion. “[Y/N] [Y/L/N],” he said, looking up to gaze at you, “would you do me the honor of attending the ball as my date?”

You stared at him for a little, amused by his tactic. There was no denying the fluttering of your heart as you noted the familiar twinkle that was now shining, brighter than ever, in Andre’s eyes. You wanted nothing more than to go to the ball with him. But, you also couldn’t deny the urge to mess with him further. “Eh,” you said, “I’ll think about it.” Andre glared, obviously aware of your sarcasm. “I AM the curse breaker of Hogwarts,” you added, “I’m in high demand you know.” Andre dropped your hand and hit your shoulder. “You prat! You’d be lucky to go to the ball with me!” You chuckled and nodded. “You’re right,” you said, “You’re my best prospect.”

“Lucky me,” Andre said, rolling his eyes as you erupted into another fit of giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> I no longer support Ms. Rowling, but this game was fun to play and I'm proud of this. And the world needs more Andre Egwu content.


End file.
